A little humor today

God loses bank Account from Dave's Daily

"An author who changed his name to God for a book was dumped by his bank. Sheridan Simove, 35, had his HSBC account closed after changing his name by deed poll, reports The Sun. The bachelor, of Wandsworth, South London, said: "At first they told me I needed two names to have an account - so I replied that I'd become Almighty God. HSBC said he must use his original name."

An Angry Soldier

My wife found this post on the best of Craig's list. I'm not sure as to the authenticity of it, but I like what they had to say, and decided to share. Just in case the link ever gets removed, I'm re-posting it here for my benefit.

-- Full unedited Quote from the Angry Soldier on Craig's list----

From an Angry Soldier

---

Date: 2007-04-10, 1:00PM PDT


I'm having the worst damn week of my whole damn life so I'm going to write this while I'm pissed off enough to do it right.

I am SICK of all this bullshit people are writing about the Iraq war. I am abso-fucking-lutely sick to death of it. What the fuck do most of you know about it? You watch it on TV and read the commentaries in the newspaper or Newsweek or whatever god damn yuppie news rag you subscribe to and think you're all such fucking experts that you can scream at each other like five year old about whether you're right or not. Let me tell you something: unless you've been there, you don't know a god damn thing about it. It you haven't been shot at in that fucking hell hole, SHUT THE FUCK UP!

How do I dare say this to you moronic war supporters who are "Supporting our Troops" and waving the flag and all that happy horse shit? I'll tell you why. I'm a Marine and I served my tour in Iraq. My husband, also a Marine, served several. I left the service six months ago because I got pregnant while he was home on leave and three days ago I get a visit from two men in uniform who hand me a letter and tell me my husband died in that fucking festering sand-pit. He should have been home a month ago but they extended his tour and now he's coming home in a box.

You fuckers and that god-damn lying sack of shit they call a president are the reason my husband will never see his baby and my kid will never meet his dad.

And you know what the most fucked up thing about this Iraq shit is? They don't want us there. They're not happy we came and they want us out NOW. We fucked up their lives even worse than they already were and they're pissed off. We didn't help them and we're not helping them now. That's what our soldiers are dying for.

Oh while I'm good and worked up, the government doesn't even have the decency to help out the soldiers whos lives they ruined. If you really believe the military and the government had no idea the veterans' hospitals were so fucked up, you are a god-damn retard. They don't care about us. We're disposable. We're numbers on a page and they'd rather forget we exist so they don't have to be reminded about the families and lives they ruined while they're sipping their cocktails at another fund raiser dinner. If they were really concerned about supporting the troops, they'd bring them home so their families wouldn't have to cry at a graveside and explain to their children why mommy or daddy isn't coming home. Because you can't explain it. We're not fighting for our country, we're not fighting for the good of Iraq's people, we're fighting for Bush's personal agenda. Patriotism my ass. You know what? My dad served in Vietnam and NOTHING HAS CHANGED.

So I'm pissed. I'm beyond pissed. And I'm going to go to my husband funeral and recieve that flag and hang it up on the wall for my baby to see when he's older. But I'm not going to tell him that his father died for the stupidty of the American government. I'm going to tell him that his father was a hero and the best man I ever met and that he loved his country enough to die for it, because that's all true and nothing will be solved by telling my son that his father was sent to die by people who didn't care about him at all.

Fuck you, war supporters, George W. Bush, and all the god damn mother fuckers who made the war possible. I hope you burn in hell.

---------------- End Quote -------------

God has a Hit list???

So, I opened up my Google reader this morning and was very entertained by this post from Friendly Atheist about Shelley the the Republican.

Then while perusing the STR website I found out that she has "God's HIT LIST!"

First up --- "Enemies of the homeland God’s people hitlist : God wants them dead because they harm America!" including such notable people like Barrak Osama??? who?

Next "Wrong Choices God’s lifestyle choices hitlist : God hates people that belong to one of the groups below because they harm America!" including "Linux users" and "College Professors". Looks like I make that list since I use Linux... hehe

Then there is "Harmful bands God’s music hitlist : God hates people that listen to the bands below because they harm America!" I'm surprised here... They have listed bands like Bob Dylan, and The Dixie Chicks.... but what happen to the Eagles (Did they forget about Hotel California?) and AC/DC (Highway to hell, need I say more) why didn't they make the list???

Something kinda scary about this list is it appears when someone dies that is considered a "WIN" for god... That is kinda disturbing, but at the same time brilliant. Since everything dies eventually god will always win?

I needed a good laugh this morning, and this fit the bill perfectly. There is more information about this site from Friendly Atheist here, and here that explains the intentions of this site. Still, it is kinda funny.

Possible Earth like planet found...

We think it's bad now with the discrimination against other races/cultures/religions here on earth..... How will religion spin it when we find life on other planets? I'd like to think a majority of people would understand and be excited and interested in such possibles, but others would just claim it is a big hoax, or simply deny it. My best guess would be that Religion would broaden it's scope , claiming we should bring the "Good News" to our neighbor to include other planets as well. I'm not sure how they will cover the whole "God created man in his image" thing , especially if we do find other human like races out there. Then there would be the question, If jesus came to earth to die for our sins, does that mean if life is found on another planet it would be more perfect than we are? Maybe without sin? hehe It's going to be an interesting ride, that is for sure.

Fascinating news: Possible Life Supporting planet found

God = Nothing

It's not a new theory, but something I thought quite fitting. Typically when one hears the term god used, almost immediately the first typical definition of god is an omnipotent, omniscience, and benevolent creator of the universe. (On a side note, i think using words like 'Omnipotent' and 'Omniscience' is pretty funny... Don't get me wrong I understand breaking the word down changes the meaning, but I suppose my point is that I see this done very often in preaching. Where they will break down individual words in the bible, go back to the original Greek/Hebrew meanings of the words, in an attempt to "reveal" deeper meanings. When in fact it will completely change the meaning. For example: if we broke down 'Omni' and 'potent' an alternative definition could be 'Omni' - A wicked man described in the book of Mormon and 'potent' - The Ancient name for a crutch.)

Moving on... Whilst pondering things in my head the other day; It occurred to me, instead of thinking the typical definition we should simply replace "God" with "Nothing". When this happens, now we start to see some of the "Truth" in christianity/religion. Here are some funny examples:

1) "In God We Trust" to "In Nothing We Trust"
2) "God created the earth in 6 days" or "Nothing created the earth in 6 days"
3) "I'm giving my problems to God" or more accurately "I'm giving my problems to Nothing"
4) "Only God can save you from hell" to "Nothing can save you from hell"
5) "Jesus son of God" or "Jesus son of Nothing"
6) "God is my Co-pilot" to "Nothing is my Co-pilot"
7) "The Holy Bible is God's Word" or "The Holy Bible is nothings Word"

Obviously, this could go on forever, but surely you can see the beauty in this definition of god. It seems to shed much more light into the christian faith. lol..... "God is all knowing and All powerful" or "Nothing is all knowing and All powerful"

So, my point to all this, well nothing i suppose.. Just thought it was funny. And from now on every time I hear the word god used, in my head it will probably get replaced with the word nothing, and I'm sure a hint of laughter will appear as a small smile in my face ;)

2nd to the bible..

Lately I have been reading "The Intellectual Devotional" a book I would highly recommend as it is very enjoyable.

Anyway, on to my thought for today. I'm sure most of us have heard that the Bible is the #1 selling book. Well, according to amazon's rankings this does not appear to be true as it ranks the bible around #30,001. Of course this is ONLY one version of the bible, yadda yadda... I think they are simply wording it wrong. I have no doubt that the bible is most likely the most "Printed" book, witch I think would be a more accurate statement than calling it a best seller.

Usually though a christian will follow up with "and the #2 book is the satanic bible". Today, however, I read something pretty interesting in my devotional on the topic of Literature. It was about "Don Quixote" by Miguel de Cervantes. A work of fiction written in 2 parts, part one in 1605 and part two in 1615. To quote the book:
"It is celebrated as the preeminent work of Spanish literature and widely considered the first moder novel in any language" pg: 93

Definitely sounds like it is worth a read which is why I have added it to my wish list on amazon hehe. Anyway, what I found very intriguing in the "Additional Facts" section at the bottom was this little blurb:
"Of all the books published throughout history, Don Quixote is second only to the bible in terms of number of copies printed"

Just a little tid bit I thought was interesting enough to share today ;)